Home Affairs: Roots & Routes
A curse, paths, a new (old) love, a glass of wine, a discovery, feeling blue, a soil cure, and a note of hope.
Human relationships are strange. They’re a total mystery to me. You think you know someone you’ve been close to for many years, but you don’t know them, not fully, not really. The process of getting to know someone is eternal. Always unfolding before your eyes. To realize this is to prepare oneself for the arduous work that is required to see who someone is, as they evolve. When I meet someone new, I say, “I don’t know you much,” a lot. Hey, a cute thought: Will you ever?
At what point can you draw a clear line in the path of getting to know someone? There’s no such thing as Today marks the day I got to know who this person is. No matter how many years and how many shared experiences, everyone is somehow a stranger. There are thoughts and internal streams that will forever remain inaccessible. I’m not sure if this distance impossible to mend is something that gives me peace or makes my cortisol spike.
Speaking of strangers, this week I found out something deeply disturbing about my husband. Well, I didn’t find out on my own. He nonchalantly disclosed it over dinner, which definitely made me think: I will never fully know the father of my child.