Home Affairs: Not the person I want to be

Abandoning books, thoughts on concerts, a misplaced vibrator, an enemy, change of grip, and an urge to change something.

Zadie Smith is friends with the worst date I’ve ever had. A couple of days ago, I was listening to an interview with her when she just dropped his name followed by the words, “a good friend of mine”. The guy is a comedian and we met on Raya in 2019. I love a good laugh so I agreed to meet my match. We had coffee and I showed him a couple of my favorite spots in Barcelona. Right next to some old ruins, he asked if he could kiss me. “No,” was my answer. It was all downhill from there. He didn’t make me laugh. Not once. Yet, for some reason, he thought the date was going amazing and for sure, we would go straight to his hotel room. He was an asshole, that’s what he was. I like and respect Zadie, but this piece of information made me go, He’s your friend, huh? Well, you know what they say, Zadie, I’m sure you know what they say.

I didn’t go to a concert this week. But I had time to think about concerts in general. For many years, I’ve done the concert thing without much to say, although there has always been a subterranean feeling whispering: This is not okay with me. Half a decade ago, I had the courage to say it out loud for the first time: “I don’t like concerts.” No one seemed to agree and I was twenty-five and more insecure than I am now, so I changed the subject quickly. But now I’m thirty and a mom and I don’t care as much. So I’ll say it again, louder this time:

I DON’T LIKE CONCERTS. I DON’T LIKE GOING TO CONCERTS. AND HERE’S WHY I BELIEVE, IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT, YOU’LL FIND OUT YOU DON’T LIKE THEM EITHER: