39. sweet intermission
I've got a new home. Do I get her? Does she get me? Once again, who am I and what is this place?!
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I know it’s Monday
and for a little while,
I’ve been away
this is weird, right?
a newsletter like this, today?
I have been sneezing a lot these days.
quite frankly my head has been elsewhere
probably between cardboard boxes
old memories, piles of books,
dusty clothes, Best Buy,
Bed Bath & Beyond
some fancy furniture store.
Going from terribly hungry
to stuffed belly -about to blow
about to throw up.
having arguments with Le Boyfriend
over the silliest stuff,
like for example
should the sofa caress the wall?
yes or no?
strong feelings over weak causes
that’s the blur one’s mind might navigate
when you’re relocating your body
to a new, unknown, sterile place
and you tell yourself: this is my new home
the exhaustion at night, the eyes waking up
in the earliest morning, saying: goddam, woman! I want to see, let me be awake,
I need to understand what the fuck is happening here. where are we?
usually, I have a decent answer for such questions.
but the thing with the body and the mind is that while the body can get to a place quite fast, the mind follows slowly.
Reconciling both… takes time.
And that is what I’ve been doing, apart from sneezing, like I previously mentioned.
today I decided to take some antihistamines. I’ve stopped sneezing, thus I can write now. Scribble down some notes on a small world inside a bigger one.
So this is a nice comeback after the two-week intermission I’ve taken for myself to explore some kind of silence, allowing another kind of loudness to happen that way.
I’m just opening and closing windows and doors here, nothing less, nothing more.
The good thing about an argument is the possibility of humor after it.
And I’ve been holding up to that lately. Possibly because laughing at oneself is healthy and brings a large dose of information with it.
From the perspective of a mouse, I would be a terrible person if I poisoned her partner.
I don’t know if this writing is making sense. But here’s some memorabilia from my recent move to the new home I was telling you about.
Everybody -> Boxes = cute & helpful.
Me -> Boxes = cutting my hands with cardboard boxes.
Our bedroom.
please, someone, pinch me.
Miss Peacock coming by my studio to say hi our very first morning in this house.
#blessedbynature
inter - mission
I’m on a mission. Well, between missions if you may.
And what about that email I got last week. It was a submission, they wanted me to write some captions for some Instagram posts. I was about to accept the job but then I realized. A submission is literally “under the mission”. So I paused my little head and took a couple of deep breaths.
You’re about to resume your big mission. Let’s start with your readers at unsolicited existence.
The following information is something that share on my monthly “in hindsight”, only for paid subscribers. But since I’ve been so busy, I’d like to give you all a notion of what’s been August for me.
WHAT I’VE BEEN PONDERING ON
One of my main struggles in The Life is the impatience I attach to all events, rituals, goals. “Things need to happen fast or they won’t happen at all” This is what I unconsciously tell myself. And I end up having a bad experience of a great process, just because of the hurry.
So repeating this nugget of wisdom has helped a bit in that department:
”Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.” - Lao Tzu.
Yes, I’ve been repeating that out loud when I’m by myself. And it’s been working. Maybe it can work for you, too -if you find your hooman avatar struggling with impatience-.
Emotional independence and validation. Another big one for me. I’ll dive deeper into this probably neverending topic soooon.
WHAT I’VE BEEN LISTENING TO
Who hasn’t been listening to Donda?
Tom Segura + Joe Rogan. Interesting and fun.
A bit disappointed by this podcast, which you have to pay for, $14,99 to be precise.
I find the episodes short and shallow most of the time, those two minds could go deeper and stranger.
That’s the expectation-reality crash right there.
Speaking of expectation-reality crashes, I’ve had a few of these with friendships the past year. And I really enjoyed giving this episode a listen : )
Oh, any time there’s a Kim Kardashian West interview out there I click on it so fast. There’s something about that woman…
WHAT I’VE BEEN WATCHING
Enjoyed The White Lotus season finale.
Started with Nine Perfect Strangers on Hulu, enjoying it so far. Everything involving psychedelics I tend to like and support. And so should you.
Binge-watched Why Women Kill on Paramount +, surprisingly entertaining and smart. The first season
WHAT I’VE BEEN READING
Letting Go - David R. Hawkins
Devotions - Mary Oliver
WHAT I’VE BEEN WEARING
I’ve been wearing my Sunshine merch. A lot.
So - hoomans of the world of the interwebs.
I’m still alive. Older & wiser than before.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for loving me.
Thank you for loving you.
I want to pray every morning. Say thanks with my whole heart.
Get out, see the sky, and marvel at her eyes.
bye bye bye
by all means, have a quick look at this before you leave
“Hiiii Steven the squirrel!”
See you on Wednesday! With loooove, loooove and passion. Lots of passion!
Ale.
This project is possible thanks to all readers & especially paid subscribers.
So, if you enjoy my style of speech, sketching skills & existence in general, please consider becoming a paid sub ❤️ this is my answer to brand collabs/ads I feel a strong aversion towards.
You can also get my book, Poetry Scam, here.
Yeah, do your thing. If you would love to support this project & gain full access but don’t have the means to do so, remember I’m comping 10 hoomans each month. Just drop me a line at unsolicitedexistence@gmail.com & this system is a first-come, first-serve one, just like all good and worth waiting restaurants. COOLIO! love ya ❤️ see ya!