hey! quick question,
are you alive?
are you sure?
…………………………. never mind. today. we. are. covering…
Every day* you wake up
(*) Day: as a unit of measurement of time, not as in the opposite of night, because you can wake up at night, and God knows it happens to me a lot.
But every day is a day, a day of it’s own, the unit changes at 00:00, that’s commonly known as midnight. And that’s another measurement of time, that’s a precise time told by hours and minutes. They communicate their existence through clocks. Clocks can come in the analog or digital form. Choose your fighter. I like consulting time on my phone, just like almost everyone else.
But we move from day to day, seamlessly, it’s 23:59 and that’s one day. But then it turns 00:00 and you’re experiencing a whole new different day, my friend.
And there is no physical change. Your body could never tell the difference between August 26th and August 27th.
But don’t worry, wherever your body cannot go, your mind will take you.
Make sure to use it wisely.
So… every day you wake up. You wake up and that usually means you open your eyes.
You go from a state of sleep* to a waking state. That’s what the act of waking up is all about.
(*) Sleep: a condition of body and mind that typically recurs for several hours every night, in which the nervous system is relatively inactive, the eyes closed, the postural muscles relaxed, and consciousness practically suspended.
These are my eyes closed, usually indicating I’m asleep. I could pretend to be asleep. I’d just stay quiet, eyes shut… it’s not difficult to pull this one off. Meaning, someone could look like they’re sleeping when in reality, they’re awake. Have you ever done this? I have!
These are my eyes open, usually indicating I’m awake. This one is almost impossible to fake. Although it’s not that uncommon to happen.
You might be surprised to hear that some people sleep with their eyes open. And it's more common that you'd expect. About 20% of people do it, including babies. Doctors call this condition "nocturnal lagophthalmos." If you have it, you can usually close your eyes most of the way when you sleep, but not completely.
So. You can sleep with your eyes open. But you cannot consciously pretend to be awake. Because consciously usually = awake.
Doesn’t it?
Just like almost everything in Life, the theory is easier than the doing, the real thing, the actual experience.
So let’s go deeper.
feel free to stop reading if at any point you are too uncomfortable.
In order to wake up, you first need to be asleep.
Hm. Okay. But where are you when you’re asleep? Your consciousness is somewhere else, not attached to your physical senses, right? You can dream, a state described as “a series of thoughts, images, and sensations occurring in a person's mind during sleep.” You can smell, touch, speak, hear, see and feel. But not with your senses. Your senses are stuck with your physical body, sweetie.
When you’re dreaming you have the notion of reality but that narrative breaks dramatically the moment you wake up. And it can be heartbreaking sometimes.
You thought something was real. But then, it wasn’t.
Or you thought reality to be this one thing. But then, it wasn’t.
And sometimes you wake up but you didn’t want to.
You wanted to remain asleep. But nature forces you into the act of waking up. Day after day after day. We are forced to embark into this crazy dance between waking hours and sleeping hours.
When I’m really sad I just want to fall asleep and sleep, and let the hours -hopefully, days- go by, until I’m not sad anymore. (I think that’s the whole premise of My Year of Rest and Relaxation)
When you’re forced into the act of waking up there is one thing that might help you navigate the resistance: even if the awakening is unwanted and it feels like you’re not ready, you are. Because both nature and your body are wise, they know when to bring you back to the battlefield. And by battlefield, I mean the day after the day after the day.
You have all the tools you need to face the waking hours ahead of you. Time will make sure to get you there, minute by minute.
Plus, good news is: you can always go back to sleep, right?
Well, now it’s when I’m going to fuck up your mind. You can’t. Because when you really wake up, there is no going back to sweet nappie nap time, oh, no sir.
It’s going to be eyes wide open from now on.
and you wake up, go to sleep, in a different way, as a different person.
your hair is longer. but you keep going back and forth.
and wake up again and heeeey, you do it AGAIN,
“““““““““““it’s better to open your eyes and see”””””””””
because even when they go back to being closed, you have a new, better, brighter understanding. Just pray for the truth to be revealed and watch it closely as it unfolds.
go back to sleep. wake up again. Repetitive? Yeah. It’s a loop. Like any other mantra, is goooooooood for you.
As I was saying in the beginning of today’s newsletter….
Every day you wake up, until you don’t.
But I wonder.
Where do you go when you don’t wake up anymore?
You thought all of this to be true. It all feels so real.
The scents, textures and images.
The people. Conversations. The transcendent, the shallow.
That email waiting for you to press send.
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